Identify key life transitions where people need support, including: change in health, new parent, relocation, retirement, and career transition.
Determine what works that needs to be amplified.
Align incentives and leadership in cities and towns to fund and expand the needed social infrastructure for each life transition.

Health Changes: Treated Individually, Lived Socially

A serious health diagnosis—whether cancer, diabetes, or a mental health condition—doesn’t just change the body. It reshapes identity, daily life, and relationships.

Patients often describe the moment of diagnosis as a rupture: a dividing line between who they were before and who they are now. Sociologist Michael Bury famously described this as “biographical disruption,” a process in which individuals must reconstruct their sense of self, routines, and future in the face of illness (Bury, 1982).

At the same time, health crises are among the most socially destabilizing transitions a person can experience. People may withdraw from others due to fatigue, stigma, or emotional strain, even as their need for support increases. A large body of research shows that social isolation and loneliness are associated with significantly higher risks of depression, poorer health outcomes, and even increased mortality (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015; National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2020).

Conditions like diabetes make this especially clear. Managing the disease requires sustained behavioral change (monitoring, diet, medication) but decades of research show that social support is one of the strongest predictors of adherence and outcomes. Patients with stronger social networks are more likely to manage their condition effectively and experience fewer complications (Gallant, 2003).

And yet, our healthcare system is still largely designed around the individual. Patients are given treatment plans, prescriptions, and information but far less often are they given structured ways to connect with others going through the same experience.

There are notable exceptions.

Alcoholics Anonymous remains one of the most studied examples of peer-based recovery. It provides regular meetings, shared language, and a clear pathway into belonging built on lived experience. Research has shown that participation in AA and similar mutual-help groups can be as effective as, or more effective than, clinical interventions alone in supporting long-term recovery (Kelly et al., 2020).

Similar patterns appear in cancer care. Patients who participate in peer support groups often report reduced distress and improved coping, as well as a stronger sense of connection during treatment (Hoey et al., 2008).

These approaches recognize something our broader system often overlooks: healing is not just a medical process. It is a social one.

A diagnosis doesn’t just require a treatment plan. It requires a new way of living and, often, a new set of relationships to sustain it.

But for most people, that social infrastructure is not built in. They are left to assemble it on their own, at the very moment when their capacity to do so is most limited.

Relocation: Starting Over Without an On-Ramp

Moving to a new city is one of the clearest opportunities to build a new social world. And one of the least supported.

Relocation disrupts more than geography. It severs routines, weakens existing social ties, and places people into unfamiliar environments where norms, networks, and opportunities for connection are not immediately visible. Research consistently shows that geographic mobility is associated with weaker social ties and lower levels of social integration, particularly in the early stages after a move (Putnam, 2000; Fischer, 2002).

At the same time, relocation creates a paradox. It is one of the moments when people are most open to forming new relationships. Without established networks, newcomers are often actively seeking connection. Yet without shared entry points or structured opportunities, that openness often goes unrealized.

This gap is reflected in the experience of loneliness. Studies have found that people who have recently moved are more likely to report difficulty forming close relationships and a lower sense of belonging in their communities (Oishi, 2010; Hendrickson et al., 2011). Even when surrounded by others, many newcomers describe a sense of disconnection. Sociologists sometimes refer to it as being “alone in the crowd.”

Unlike transitions such as starting college or a new job, there is rarely an onboarding process for a new city. There are no built-in cohorts of people going through the same change, no shared rituals, and no institution responsible for helping newcomers integrate.

And yet, relocation holds enormous potential.

Because it disrupts existing social patterns, it creates space for people to build more intentional and diverse relationships. Research suggests that mobility can broaden perspectives and increase openness to new experiences. These are conditions that, if supported, can lead to stronger and more expansive social networks over time (Oishi & Talhelm, 2012).

The challenge is not the move itself. It is the absence of systems that help people translate that moment of openness into connection.

Without those systems, newcomers are left to rebuild their social lives on their own at precisely the moment when they are most ready, and most in need, to do it together.

Retirement: Loss of Structure Without Replacement

Retirement marks the end of one of the most consistent sources of connection in adult life: work. Along with it can come a loss of identity, purpose, and daily interaction.

For many people, work is not just what they do, it is a central part of who they are. Sociological and psychological research has long shown that retirement can disrupt this sense of identity, requiring individuals to reconstruct meaning and role in the absence of a long-held structure (Wang & Shi, 2014; Ashforth, 2001).

At the same time, retirement often leads to a contraction of social networks. Colleagues who once provided regular interaction are no longer part of daily life, and without intentional replacement, those connections tend to fade. Studies have found that retirement is associated with reduced social participation and, for some, increased risk of loneliness and depression—particularly when it is unplanned or when individuals lack strong social ties outside of work (Pinquart & Schindler, 2007; Courtin & Knapp, 2017).

This helps explain why retirement is such a paradoxical transition. It offers freedom from work, but can also bring a loss of structure, community, and belonging.

And yet, like other life transitions, it also presents a powerful opportunity.

When retirees are able to build new social roles and relationships, they often experience improved well-being, stronger sense of purpose, and better overall health outcomes (Wang, Henkens, & van Solinge, 2011). The challenge is not retirement itself, but whether there are systems in place to help people navigate it.

Some models point the way forward. The Village to Village Network, for example, creates member-led communities where neighbors support one another, share resources, and build new forms of connection beyond work. These networks help replace the social infrastructure that employment once provided.

But access to these kinds of communities remains limited. For many, retirement still means stepping away from a structured social world without a clear pathway into a new one, leaving people to rebuild their relationships on their own, at a moment when doing so can feel both unfamiliar and difficult.

Career Transitions: Networks Without Belonging

Changing jobs, or trying to find one, can open doors, but it can also destabilize identity and social connection in profound ways.

For many, work is more than a source of income. It provides structure, purpose, and a sense of who we are. When that disappears—whether through graduation into an uncertain job market or the loss of a job—it often brings not just financial stress, but a loss of identity and belonging (Brand, 2015; Gedikli et al., 2023). Research consistently shows that unemployment is associated with significantly higher rates of anxiety, depression, and reduced life satisfaction—not only because of lost income, but because of the loss of daily structure, social contact, and meaning (American Psychological Association, 2020; Junna et al., 2022).

For younger adults, this transition is becoming more common and more prolonged. Many graduates now face extended periods of uncertainty before securing stable work, and emerging technologies like artificial intelligence are expected to further disrupt entry-level roles, making career instability a more persistent feature of working life (Goldman Sachs, 2023; Frank et al., 2024).

This means that what was once a relatively contained transition—graduating, finding a job, and settling into a career—is increasingly becoming an extended period of identity formation and instability, with ripple effects across relationships and long-term well-being.

And yet, despite how common and consequential this transition is, we largely treat it as an individual problem to solve.

There are exceptions. In his book Never Search Alone, Phyl Terry argues that job searching is inherently emotional and should be done in community, not isolation. His model centers on forming small peer groups (“Job Search Councils”) that meet regularly to provide support, accountability, and shared learning. These groups help transform what is typically an isolating experience into a collective one, turning anxiety into motivation and confidence (Terry, 2022).

This approach reflects a broader truth: career transitions are not just economic events—they are social and psychological ones. When people go through them together, outcomes improve. When they go through them alone, the experience is often marked by stress, uncertainty, and disconnection.

But models like this remain the exception. For most people, career transition is something they navigate alone—at the very moment when they are most in need of connection, structure, and support.

New Parenthood: Identity Shift Without Infrastructure

Becoming a parent is one of the most profound identity shifts a person can experience. Daily routines change overnight. Time becomes scarce. Priorities reorganize. And with those changes often comes something less expected: a reshaping of relationships.

Research shows that the transition to parenthood is strongly associated with loneliness, with roughly one in three new parents reporting frequent feelings of isolation (Meeussen & Van Laar, 2018; Shorey et al., 2022).

Part of this is structural. The demands of caregiving make it harder to maintain existing friendships. Schedules no longer align. Social lives contract. Studies have found that contact with friends often declines after having children, particularly with those who are not also parents (Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2020; Swinburne University of Technology, 2023).

Part of it is emotional. Parenthood introduces new experiences—exhaustion, anxiety, and identity shifts—that can be difficult to explain to those who aren’t going through them. As a result, many parents report both losing some friendships and needing to form entirely new ones with people who understand what they are experiencing (Nelson et al., 2014; Psychology Today, 2018).

And yet, this same transition creates a powerful opportunity.

Because parenthood is shared. Millions of people go through a similar shift at the same time offering a natural foundation for connection. Research shows that when parents are able to build strong social support networks, it reduces stress, improves mental health, and even benefits children’s development (Feeney & Collins, 2015; Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University).

We see this in programs like the Program for Early Parent Support (PEPS), where small groups of new parents meet regularly over the first months of a child’s life. These groups do more than provide advice. They normalize the experience. They create space for vulnerability. And they help transform what could be an isolating transition into the beginning of a community which often forms friendships that last well beyond the early years of parenting.

The lesson is clear: new parents don’t just need information. They need each other.

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